The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize