white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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