I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
