She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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