I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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