Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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