I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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