Me. At least after what I've been through.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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