I accidentally had phone sex last night
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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