i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
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