I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize