He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We're too hungover to prance.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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