That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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