She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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