Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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