Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize