You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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