It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
