but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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