help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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