you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have aggressive nipples.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
