I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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