You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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