I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
