I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
