I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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