My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
