just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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