I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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