I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
