OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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