Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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