What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
