You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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