I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
