My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
