She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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