Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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