Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
