I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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