In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
