I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize