:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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