why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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