i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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