blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Your cock deserves a montage
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
