There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
