I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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