To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
