didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
