Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
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i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
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Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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