Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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