Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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