Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
