remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
there is glitter all over my balls
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