wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
