The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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