Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
