i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
